What’s the point? They don’t miss me.
You shouldn’t miss people who don’t miss you, right?

I just need a break from thinking.
My mind never takes a break, though.
Constantly active, constantly worrying, constantly stressing.

And there’s not a thing I can do. About any of it.

It is what it is. It is what it was.

What else is new?

Drowning in my anxiety and dwelling on my flaws. 

I’m so whiney. Sorry for putting up with me. 

For once, I’d like to be chosen over someone else.
Tired of being second best.

But I’m still losing followers like it’s my job.

What did I do wrong?! :(

Once I have a spare minute, I promise I’m going to do some major blog re-vamping. Hang in there, followers. I know my blog’s been a little dry.

Preparing to fail my AP Lang exam tomorrow.
I feel it. It’s not going to go well.
Currently crying, not really sure what to do about it.
Wish me luck.

I got a speeding ticket this morning.
And of course, being the guilt-ridden bitch I am, I can’t stop thinking about it.

I called my Mom. She insisted that everything would be fine and that we’d talk about it later. But I can’t shake the feeling that I’m a disappointment.

It doesn’t help that I won’t get to phone my parents at all, seeing as how I’m currently on a school field trip.

It’s going to haunt me all day. I just know it. I basically am waiting for a severe punishment that may result in the confiscation of my car. I’m so scared. And guilty. And disappointed. Not just at the situation, but in myself.

I can tell I’m not going to have fun for the rest of the day. Whenever I start laughing, or having a good time, I picture the cop car behind me and a wave of guilt washes over me.

It seems like a small mistake, but to me, I might as well have killed someone. The guilt. The worry. It’s going to keep me up all night.

I probably shouldn’t even be making a big deal about this, but I can’t help it. For the girl who always follows the rules…it’s really killing me.

I never was one who knew how to let go.